Yesterday was such a Monday. It felt very bleh. I showed up at school with no idea about what to do with the kids that day. Figured I’d fall into something but that honestly hasn’t been working. I can’t believe I’ve actually had room and opportunity to be bored. I’ve forgotten what a horrible feeling that is. I’m finding it necessary to create some kind of lesson plan or else I’m just wandering and wondering what to do.
A few weeks ago I set out to create some kind of schedule of offerings for myself that I would get into deeply at least once a day. I haven’t done well at executing that. I feel stymied on this matter. There’s an endless list of possibilities on the web that I check out but then I have trouble choosing and executing one. I spend too much time researching materials and then am really hesitant to spend the money.
To add onto that struggle is the difficulty of our temporary/shared space with limited storage. Some of my project ideas would take multiple days and we don’t have the space or storage to leave these projects out or easily put them up. So this limits us to simpler activities that can be completed in a day.
I believe it’s mostly a huge lack of self confidence in spending the school’s money on things and trusting my ability to be wise about it. I’ve not ever been in this position to do so freely and without having to go through or to someone else for approval. I am really, really in charge here and the power of that is intimidating.