I was excited for week three because it meant getting back to working on Heartwood. I knew it also meant some vague network level stuff but I still can’t quite put that into words yet. I also knew it meant becoming a fully recognized, certified, and licensed Agile Learning Facilitator!
It was less than exciting that week 3 started off with what seemed like zero intention in general. To arrive on that Monday to the question “so what are we going to do today/this week?” was really disappointing. In my head I thought, “wait, you don’t know what we’re doing this week?” Naturally, I was irritated by this. Monday and Tuesday I felt as if I was wasting my time and the money of those who payed for me to be there. I resolved to just set all my own intentions and focus on getting some Hrtwd work done.
I want to find the balance between being a researcher and strategic planner and being flexible and creatively adaptive. I use to do improv in elementary school and it was incredibly fun. Would love to get back into that.
Around me that week were a lot of network level conversations that felt exclusive and were over my head. Not participating deeply, I felt, only solidified whatever horrible reputation I had set for myself during week 1. I just wasn’t feeling included in a lot of things and guessed it was because I seemed closed off before.
There were some really great guest presenters that came on two afternoons to talk about Holacracy and then Nonviolent Communication. Some of the group had a certain perspective of or experience with NVC that turned a few of them off from wanting to attend but it turned out to be really good. The speaker was not at all formulaic about NVC and entertained out complicated questions on the matter. For me, I really must work on my own violent self talk first before I’m able to stop dealing with others violently. I’m not gentle with myself at all.
My first blog post was released early in the week and that seemed to get folks talking but I’m still unsure if that’s a good or bad thing yet. Maybe it’s neither. Maybe it just is.
There were a few people who really wanted to play games this week and I envied their ability and freedom to relax and just be. It was almost insulting to be asked to participate and more damaging when I had to turn down invites. I hardly ever get to “just be” and I certainly couldn’t do it this week, I HAD WORK TO DO!
As a part of getting stuff done, there were specific people I needed to speak to about specific things. Luckily, this is a group of generous, kind, and patient people. They tolerated all my questions and wordy conversations and I’m deeply appreciative. The one on one and small group moments were awesome. I was able to dig deep and get some great revelations about the things that had been on my mind.
- Nancy and parent interactions
- Liam’s youth and next steps in life
- Heath and his TedTalk
- Art about Mercer’s partnership/working team consulting
- Bear and enrollment
- Drew and coming to ATL
- Tomis about marketing and the value of SEO
- Jess and Trello usage
With all my working I neither had the time nor cared to make the time to go through the peer-review process. I was never baked into a true ALF. This doesn’t so much bother me since I wouldn’t have believed in the review anyway.
No one had seen what I can really do and no one had really seen me so it would have all seemed quite artificial.
By the end of the week I got a lot done and was quite proud of myself. Nari closed the week out with a killer gratitude circle that I can’t wait to do with my Atlanta group. I had a daunting ride back to Atlanta in order to attend our first joint initiative with the community center our school would be located in. I was eager, ready to facilitate, and optimistic about the future.